btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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