you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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