pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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