i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
