it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
