pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
