there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
