JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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