After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
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Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
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All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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