She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
