i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
