I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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