honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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