On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
