i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
