My friends, they love my intelligence
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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