she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
