the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
