He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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