just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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