I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
