she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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