Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
