I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
