Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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