great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
