party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it's great music for shaving your balls
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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