Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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