waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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