We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It was like getting head from an anaconda
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
