I can tuck mytits in my pants
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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