My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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