I am in a vortex of obligation.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
