You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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