Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize