Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
