If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
