i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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