You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
