Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
