apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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