If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
