Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize