True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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