He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
