found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
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porn star boner night. come get it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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