Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
