Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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