my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
