I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize