Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
How naked do you want me to be?
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