my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
