I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
