your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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