I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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