New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am naked and annoyed.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
