I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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