Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
