I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
