Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize